Wednesday, January 25, 2006

My passion for him is not burning as brightly as it use to. I am not being continually being filled with the Holy Spirit. I long with that passion, that holiness, that child-like faith that I once had. Christianity seems so complicated right now, and it is getting rather tiring. Struggles that I have been going through, trying to figure out what I believe, opposed to what 'my parents' believe. I need to figure out some things on my own. What scares me is that I am beginning to believe things that my father does not.
As of now I believe in predestination, my father disagrees. I believe there is a chosen elect, he very much disagrees. There are still some things about Calvinism that don't quite make sense to me, but there are quite a few hearty portions of Scripture (Romans 9, ect.), that don't sit right with me as well. There is too much proof for me not to believe. As of now, I don't consider myself a 'five point Calvinist', but I am leaning close towards it.

I am continually seeking his guidance, and listening to him speak.

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