It was nights like these that I treasured the most; when the mother in 4A put her children to sleep singing sweet lullabies, while the girl in 3B would carefully put the finishing touches on her lipstick like a composer placing the final notes on his symphony all while the sky above sang its goodnight song with sweet whispers of pink and orange that made lovers cry and poets dream. It was then that I would retreat to the fire escape outside my 18th floor apartment with a mug of coffee or tea and watch as part of the city would awake to the long night ahead while others retired to a peaceful slumber that provided a reverie from the bustle of the previous day.
Here I was able to become the woman I wanted to be without the restraints of my suffocating culture or the expectations of my boss or friends; I was simply a spectator of the night, which pleased me beyond all reason because the night had quickly become a dear friend of mine that one of those silent types that is never pushy but always around when you need them the most. Looking back I treasure that night in particular above all other nights because it was the night that I was completely free and uninhibited from the stress and constant questions that my life had become and was able to breathe in the freedom of anonymity that the darkness had brought.
No longer was I Mercedes, a twenty-something working girl in New York City, I was nothing and everything all wrapped together so tightly together that you could not be able to separate the two. The questions of why I always stood out amongst my peers would fight to enter in the stream of consciousness that flowed through my mind, but never could when I was in the presence of my dear companion who blocked all sources of fear and allowed me to be enveloped in the stillness of his goodnight kiss. My relationship with the night created a beautiful paradox that allowed me to lose my identity so that I was able to truly look at myself and figure out who I was.

"Why do you like to swim?" he demanded.

"You always ask me that." She laughed.

"Perhaps you'd tell me if we had dinner together tonight."

But when, in a moment, he left her he knew that she could never tell
him—she or another. France was a land, England was a people, but
America, having about it still that quality of the idea, was harder to ut-
ter—it was the graves at Shiloh and the tired, drawn, nervous faces of its
great men, and the country boys dying in the Argonne for a phrase that
was empty before their bodies withered. It was a willingness of the heart.

Oh Fitzgerald, I simply adore you. In all honesty, I am considering dedicating the rest of my academic career to your work. The end. :) 

Why yes, my roommate and I do IM each other from across the room.

11:31 Addison

I really want to go to Ireland.

But knowing my luck all I'd find were the ugly Irish guys

11:32pmKatie

me too. it's beautiful. yeah you'd get the drunks who vomit on you.

11:32pmAddison

thanks. you are so encouraging

11:33pmKatie

ha. i'm of course j/k. he's out there. maybe he IS in ireland. let's go look.

11:33pmAddison

okay!!!!

11:35pmAddison

we should go to an Irish bar.

11:36pmKatie

ok.

11:36pmAddison

and drink Irish beer. but not a lot because alcohol hurts my tummy

11:36pmKatie

lol sounds good. i don't likey the alchey.

Completely Happy.

Oh school, I am so in love with you right now. You have been keeping me so busy I can barely breathe, but it is simply wonderful all the same. These days it seems like I always have a book in my hands and I am treasuring that feeling. Wednesday nights with my roommates watching SYTYCD and Glee is pure joy. God has blessed me beyond reason this year and when I think about it, it takes my breath away. And when I think of the future, it just gets even more exciting:

-Thanksgiving Break
-Roadtripping it home with my OCBF
-Owl City Concert
-Finally switching from Wharton to Fitzgerald in my Major Authors class. (I love Fitzgerald, he makes me swoon.)
-The New Moon premiere at The Warren theater.
-Seeing Billy Joel and Elton John live. I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS. TICKETS GO ON SALE SATURDAY AND I WILL BE GOING. Ahem.

Finished.

Closure

Smile my darling, for we are in the
company of ghosts. Lovers like we
have come before, singing tales of heartache
and bittersweet goodbyes. They try to shake
from their pain and out of their misery.

Your honeyed words reverberate through me,
as I picture a life that ne'er be.
A tear runs down my cheek, then six, then eight.
Smile my darling.

Letting go of your twisted symphony,
I sing no more. The notes die; two, then three.
As you bid farewell I see your true traits,
I was just a new canvas, fresh and blank.
I learned from you how badly the heartache
can be. With new, cautious eyes I now see.
Smile my darling.

Life, currently.

This and that......

It has been almost a month since I have posted anything of substance.......I really don't know what to say about that. This school year has been keeping me so busy....and I have been sleeping, a lot. I'm not sure why I am always so sleepy, I don't think it's my heart...but who knows.

So far, this has been the best year yet. It is hard to explain, but for some reason everything has just clicked. But with that smooth cohesion comes a price. Everything is truly a blur, it's like I can just blink and the day will have reached its end.

I honestly don't know what else to say.........


I love words.

I love English.

I love getting into such intense discussions over a book that sometimes people slam their books down on the table in protest.

And because there have not been any pictures in a while...

Our thrilling Wednesday night.....

Kelly and I with our super cool Doctor Who comics, with Katie giving us the "you guys are complete losers" look.

A shameless "I'm rocking front bangs now" photo.