Your Life: The Soundtrack
Opening credits:	Beautiful Somehow ~ Joy Williams
Waking up:	California ~ Hawk Nelson
Average day:	Legacy ~ Nichole Nordeman
First date:	The Way You Look Tonight ~ Michael Buble
Falling in love:	Tale as Old as Time ~ Beauty and the Beast
Love scene:	I’m in Love with You ~ Joy Williams
Fight scene:	Your So Vain ~ Carly Simon (ha, that is the first thing that popped into my head.)
Breaking up:	How Can You Mend A Broken Heart ~ Bee Gees
Getting back together:	Return to Me ~ Dean Martin
Secret love:	Goodnight my Sweet Someone ~ The Music Man Soundtrack
Life’s okay:	Panio Man ~ Billy Joel
Mental breakdown:	Bohemian Rhapsody ~ Queen
Driving:	Margaritaville ~ Jimmy Buffet or Mr. HeatMiser ~ Big Bad Voo Doo Daddy
Learning a lesson:	Through Heaven’s Eyes ~ Brian Stokes Mitchell
Deep thought:	Breathe (2AM) Anna Nalick
Flashback:	I’ll Be Home For Christmas ~ Michael Buble
Partying:	Lady Marmalade ~ (Hah, just kidding, I only like the begining of the song, it has a peppy beat.)
Happy dance:	Sway ~ Michael Buble
Regreting:	Who Am I ~ Casting Crowns
Long night alone:	All I Need ~ Bethany Dillon
Death scene:	Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door ~ Avalon (hah) or Past the Point of No Return ~ Phantom of the Opera (haha)
Closing credits:	Everything to Me ~ Avalon

Today my mother and I trekked up to the city to see two very dear friends join together and become one. We have waited so long to see this day come, many years we have been praying for this day to come and today it came. We celebrated joyfully with many friends and loved ones.
I also got to see many of my friends, including the best friend. We jumped at the chance for a photoshoot and the results were hysterical.
During this I realized how much we had changed. We have changed both for the better, and we were so different than what we used to be. We both are heading different directions, I going off to college soon, and she involved in basketball, driving, and many other things in high school.


But when we still get together, no matter how different our circumstances are at that time; it feels like we picked up right where we left off. I had forgotten how much fun I have with her. She sees me for who I am, and loves me for it.
I truly love my life here, where I am, but I am so glad that I have her in my life as well. She makes things a little brighter.
I love her a lot.

As for the wedding, it was wonderful. The bride was beautiful, the groom looked spiffy, and our friend look mighty handsome in his tux. It was small and quaint; just a few close friends and many tears. I will flickr some pictures of the wedding, because it was so beautiful.
On the ride home I got to have a much desired conversation with my mother. We talked of my future, some decisions I would be making, my major in college, and careers I would be looking into. My favorite part of the trip was a short conversation we had, it occurred something like this:

Her: You forgot to remind me to get gas back in our old neighborhood before we left for home.

Me: I am sorry, I forgot.

Her: We are almost out of gas, we won't make it much longer.

Me: There is a gas station up the road.

Her: Great, we are going to have to get gas in the ghetto.

I love my mother. She makes me laugh. :-)

Looking back I thought my New Year's Eve would be pretty stinky, but it turned out to be a wonderful thing. It twas a great was a great way to end the year and bring in the new one. Happy New Year. :-)

Your Life: The Soundtrack
Opening credits:	Beautiful Somehow ~ Joy Williams
Waking up:	California ~ Hawk Nelson
Average day:	Legacy ~ Nichole Nordeman
First date:	The Way You Look Tonight ~ Michael Buble
Falling in love:	Tale as Old as Time ~ Beauty and the Beast
Love scene:	I'm in Love with You ~ Joy Williams
Fight scene:	Your So Vain ~ Carly Simon (ha, that is the first thing that popped into my head.)
Breaking up:	How Can You Mend A Broken Heart ~ Bee Gees
Getting back together:	Return to Me ~ Dean Martin
Secret love:	Goodnight my Sweet Someone ~ The Music Man Soundtrack
Life's okay:	Panio Man ~ Billy Joel
Mental breakdown:	Bohemian Rhapsody ~ Queen
Driving:	Margaritaville ~ Jimmy Buffet or Mr. HeatMiser ~ Big Bad Voo Doo Daddy
Learning a lesson:	Through Heaven's Eyes ~ Brian Stokes Mitchell
Deep thought:	Breathe (2AM) Anna Nalick
Flashback:	I'll Be Home For Christmas ~ Michael Buble
Partying:	Lady Marmalade ~ (Hah, just kidding, I only like the begining of the song, it has a peppy beat.)
Happy dance:	Sway ~ Michael Buble
Regreting:	Who Am I ~ Casting Crowns
Long night alone:	All I Need ~ Bethany Dillon
Death scene:	Knockin' On Heaven's Door ~ Avalon (hah) or Past the Point of No Return ~ Phantom of the Opera (haha)
Closing credits:	Everything to Me ~ Avalon
Take this survey Find more surveys Happy New Year.

“The Singing Butler”

This is probably one of my favorite prints that I have seen in a long time. If I had money, I would purchase it in a heartbeat.

Lately I have felt stuck in life. There is so much that I want to do, I am ready to move on. Opportunities are heading my way, and soon. But right now they feel so far away, just out of my grasp. These feelings seem to cause me to become apathetic about the schoolwork that I have now, and the responsibilities I have right now. This has only come on these past few months and I have no idea what is wrong with me. The past three years on school I have stayed verily motivated.

I applied to a different college today, one that I can still go to and stay at home, I hope I make it in.

Maybe sleep will help me figure out what is wrong with me.

"The Singing Butler"

This is probably one of my favorite prints that I have seen in a long time. If I had money, I would purchase it in a heartbeat.

Lately I have felt stuck in life. There is so much that I want to do, I am ready to move on. Opportunities are heading my way, and soon. But right now they feel so far away, just out of my grasp. These feelings seem to cause me to become apathetic about the schoolwork that I have now, and the responsibilities I have right now. This has only come on these past few months and I have no idea what is wrong with me. The past three years on school I have stayed verily motivated.

I applied to a different college today, one that I can still go to and stay at home, I hope I make it in.

Maybe sleep will help me figure out what is wrong with me.

My Firsts For 2005

JANURARY!

First Time for my Dad to lose his job.

First time to have an ipod.

First time to drive to church in the snow.

First time to drive in “Mr. Darcy”

FEBRUARY!

First time to receive an award.

First time to be “spies” in the park.

First time to be chased by a dog.

First time to receive flowers from my father for no reason.

MARCH!

First F in an class. Boo.

First time to wear bunny ears while walking in target.

First time to cry over the loss of a friend.

APRIL!

First time to receive flowers from a boy.

First time to have my tonsils taken out.

First time to discover The Phantom of the Opera.

First time to make earrings.

MAY!

First Prom.

First time to smell pot.

First time to shop for a dress.

First time to be yelled at by a doctor.

First move.

JUNE!

First incredible reconciliation.

First time living in a new town.

First time to be homesick.

First time to meet Raychell.

First time to unpack my room.

JULY!

First time to go to a Hawk Nelson Concert.

First time to wear pink converse.

First time to own a Beatles shirt.

First time to apply for a job.

AUGUST!

First time to go to a fish fry.

First time to ride a horse.

First time to discover Billy Joel.

SEPTEMBER!

First time to be seventeen.

First time to shop in Sherman.

First time to show sheep at a show.
First time to yell at a goat.

OCTOBER!

First time to dress up as a mouse for Halloween.

First time to perform in Speechless.

First trip to St. Louis.

First time to drive to the city.

NOVEMBER!

First Thanksgiving in a new town.

First late night at Braums.

First SS Class Party.

First time to be scared so badly that I wet my pants.

First time to drive of a bridge.

First time to apply for college.

DECEMBER!

First walk in the snow.

First time having a serious talk with a boy in a truck.

(Not a lot of things happened in December, work with me.)

First time to drive my new car “Willoughby”.

First snowball fight.

First time to cry out to God on my knees.

First time to color my hair “mocha frappachino”.

There was my firsts for 2005! 2006 is going to hold a lot of firsts as well. First time out of the country, college, first passport, and hopefully a whole lot more!!

~
has been one of those days….
It wasn’t the greatest Christmas.
Church was canceled tonight.
My car overheated.
I was by myself.
My father had to walk me through over the phone on how to pour water in the radiator.
I got locked out of my house too.
And to top it all off, I got ketchup on my jeans.
Let’s hope the last week of the year goes a little better.
I will summarize my Christmas in a quote that came from my aunt this weekend:
Come here! What are you wearing that smells like pot?

Take that as you will.

My Firsts For 2005

JANURARY!

First Time for my Dad to lose his job.

First time to have an ipod.

First time to drive to church in the snow.

First time to drive in "Mr. Darcy"

FEBRUARY!

First time to receive an award.

First time to be "spies" in the park.

First time to be chased by a dog.

First time to receive flowers from my father for no reason.

MARCH!

First F in an class. Boo.

First time to wear bunny ears while walking in target.

First time to cry over the loss of a friend.

APRIL!

First time to receive flowers from a boy.

First time to have my tonsils taken out.

First time to discover The Phantom of the Opera.

First time to make earrings.

MAY!

First Prom.

First time to smell pot. :-)

First time to shop for a dress.

First time to be yelled at by a doctor.

First move.

JUNE!

First incredible reconciliation.

First time living in a new town.

First time to be homesick.

First time to meet Raychell. :-)

First time to unpack my room.

JULY!

First time to go to a Hawk Nelson Concert.

First time to wear pink converse.

First time to own a Beatles shirt.

First time to apply for a job.

AUGUST!

First time to go to a fish fry.

First time to ride a horse.

First time to discover Billy Joel.

SEPTEMBER!

First time to be seventeen.

First time to shop in Sherman.

First time to show sheep at a show.
First time to yell at a goat.

OCTOBER!

First time to dress up as a mouse for Halloween.

First time to perform in Speechless.

First trip to St. Louis.

First time to drive to the city.

NOVEMBER!

First Thanksgiving in a new town.

First late night at Braums.

First SS Class Party.

First time to be scared so badly that I wet my pants.

First time to drive of a bridge.

First time to apply for college.

DECEMBER!

First walk in the snow.

First time having a serious talk with a boy in a truck.

(Not a lot of things happened in December, work with me.)

First time to drive my new car "Willoughby".

First snowball fight.

First time to cry out to God on my knees.

First time to color my hair "mocha frappachino".

There was my firsts for 2005! 2006 is going to hold a lot of firsts as well. First time out of the country, college, first passport, and hopefully a whole lot more!!

~

has been one of those days....

It wasn't the greatest Christmas.
Church was canceled tonight.
My car overheated.
I was by myself.
My father had to walk me through over the phone on how to pour water in the radiator.
I got locked out of my house too.
And to top it all off, I got ketchup on my jeans.
Let's hope the last week of the year goes a little better.

I will summarize my Christmas in a quote that came from my aunt this weekend:

Come here! What are you wearing that smells like pot?

Take that as you will.

Last Night….
Me: Your shirt makes you look like Kermit the Frog.
Him: Really? You are the first person to say that to me today.
Me: And didn’t it just make your day a little better?
~
I shall be spending the holidays with family up north on my mother’s side. Prayers are needed that I will come back without commiting an illegal act of violence. Gotta love family get togethers. Holidays bring out all the nuts in the family tree.
~
So until we meet again Merry Christmas.
Wow, that sounded corny.

Last Night....
Me: Your shirt makes you look like Kermit the Frog.
Him: Really? You are the first person to say that to me today.
Me: And didn't it just make your day a little better?

~

I shall be spending the holidays with family up north on my mother's side. Prayers are needed that I will come back without commiting an illegal act of violence. :-)
Gotta love family get togethers. Holidays bring out all the nuts in the family tree.

~

So until we meet again Merry Christmas.

Wow, that sounded corny. :-)

This weekend has been crazy. That is the only word to describe it.
Fell in love with this song, am playing it all the time, I believe my parents now think I have fallen and hit my head.
Reading This Present Darkness, which is turning out to be an excellent read.
Got a new itunes card. I cannot get enough of those.
*Cough* A Good Christmas Gift for Me. *Cough*
A trip to Sherman with friends.
King Kong gave me bad dreams.
Adrien Brody is pretty. I like him.
Dinner at Roma’s with friends Saturday night.
Talking in the cold with friends Sunday night.
When you leave, my colors fade to gray.
Love the American version.

I just finished a long set of pictures of flickr. I conned a best friend into being my model for the evening. It is a few pages long, but the pictures turned out great.

This weekend has been crazy. That is the only word to describe it.

Fell in love with this song, am playing it all the time, I believe my parents now think I have fallen and hit my head.

Reading This Present Darkness, which is turning out to be an excellent read.

Got a new itunes card. I cannot get enough of those.
*Cough* A Good Christmas Gift for Me. *Cough*

A trip to Sherman with friends.

King Kong gave me bad dreams.

Adrien Brody is pretty. I like him.

Dinner at Roma's with friends Saturday night.

Talking in the cold with friends Sunday night.



When you leave, my colors fade to gray.

Love the American version. :-)

I have a newfound respect for my cell phone. Yes, it has been dropped countless times on so many different surfaces that I have lost count. It has seen the world, well, at least America, and has become quite the traveler. My phone has sent over 500 text messages this summer, that have gotten me into some pretty interesting experiences. It has made some fun phone calls, and others that have broke my heart. My phone’s voicemail message now is decked out in Christmas with the message “Hey it’s Addi, and I am not ho ho home.” (yes corny, I know). But last night, my phone yet again went through a new trial all its own.
I dropped it in the toilet. So after 24 hours of my phone sputtering, vibrating, making obscene shieks at any random time, and me being afraid I would have to part with my phone forever; it made it through the night and is now working. There were times I thought it was seeing that light at the end of the tunnel, but alas, my phone is here to stay. I now do believe that we can go through anything together. So to celebrate, I am going into town today to buy my phone a spiffy new cover.

I have a newfound respect for my cell phone. Yes, it has been dropped countless times on so many different surfaces that I have lost count. It has seen the world, well, at least America, and has become quite the traveler. My phone has sent over 500 text messages this summer, that have gotten me into some pretty interesting experiences. It has made some fun phone calls, and others that have broke my heart. My phone's voicemail message now is decked out in Christmas with the message "Hey it's Addi, and I am not ho ho home." (yes corny, I know). But last night, my phone yet again went through a new trial all its own.
I dropped it in the toilet. So after 24 hours of my phone sputtering, vibrating, making obscene shieks at any random time, and me being afraid I would have to part with my phone forever; it made it through the night and is now working. There were times I thought it was seeing that light at the end of the tunnel, but alas, my phone is here to stay. I now do believe that we can go through anything together. So to celebrate, I am going into town today to buy my phone a spiffy new cover.

Learning can be a hard thing to do. It requires, patience, humility, humbleness, and a willing spirit.
If you told me a year ago that last night I would be sitting in a truck, with one of the most attractive people I have ever known, having to apologize for snapping at him; I would have laughed. This boy has a tendency to bring out the worst in me, and I hate that. The more I got to know him, the more I found him to be very proud and irritating. But he is human, like myself, and not perfect like I thought him out to be.
I was relying on a friend, who was in love him, for information concerning his character. To her, he was perfect, was she very wrong. All day I could not figure out why I was so disappointed that he had faults. Then this revelation came to me and everything began to become very clear.
Last night when he said those unkind things to me, the old me would have ran away and cried. But the person I was last night, I hardly recognized. He was rude, and I did not let him get away with it. I shot back, and told him how I felt. But saying how I felt and not backing down did not make me feel any better. It actually made me feel worse.
Part of me wants to write him off as a ‘little bug’ and end the friendship all together, but then there is another part, a small but significant one that makes me want to strive to make this friendship work, to not write him off and find a common ground. So many things are going through my head that I don’t know what to do or what to think. I normally don’t do this but I would like some solicited advice.
What are your thoughts?Whether I know you or not, emails are welcome.

Learning can be a hard thing to do. It requires, patience, humility, humbleness, and a willing spirit.
If you told me a year ago that last night I would be sitting in a truck, with one of the most attractive people I have ever known, having to apologize for snapping at him; I would have laughed. This boy has a tendency to bring out the worst in me, and I hate that. The more I got to know him, the more I found him to be very proud and irritating. But he is human, like myself, and not perfect like I thought him out to be.
I was relying on a friend, who was in love him, for information concerning his character. To her, he was perfect, was she very wrong. All day I could not figure out why I was so disappointed that he had faults. Then this revelation came to me and everything began to become very clear.
Last night when he said those unkind things to me, the old me would have ran away and cried. But the person I was last night, I hardly recognized. He was rude, and I did not let him get away with it. I shot back, and told him how I felt. But saying how I felt and not backing down did not make me feel any better. It actually made me feel worse.
Part of me wants to write him off as a 'little bug' and end the friendship all together, but then there is another part, a small but significant one that makes me want to strive to make this friendship work, to not write him off and find a common ground. So many things are going through my head that I don't know what to do or what to think. I normally don't do this but I would like some solicited advice.
What are your thoughts?Whether I know you or not, emails are welcome.
Talk To Me.

How refreshing to know You don’t need me
How amazing to find that You want me
Me: I just don’t think He is going to make it in life. I swear, I think He got dropped as a baby.
Dad: Well of course you think that. He is a guy, if we are not interested in you, then we barely notice. We are stupid, men are pigs, its a law of nature.
There you have it, life’s lessons from my father. He makes me smile.

How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me

Me: I just don't think He is going to make it in life. I swear, I think He got dropped as a baby.
Dad: Well of course you think that. He is a guy, if we are not interested in you, then we barely notice. We are stupid, men are pigs, its a law of nature.

There you have it, life's lessons from my father. He makes me smile.

This past two days I feel like I am “running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction”.
I hate to sound so dramatic but, I feel like my life is falling apart. I would explain it on here, but then I feel like I would be revealing myself, a part of me I want to remain private. Someone hurt me last night, a hurt that was one that was very similar to those in my past. All of these feelings are flooding back; pain, hurt, anger, regret, tears.
But this time it is going to be different, God is going to carry me through this, I know he will. I know I can go to him, and He has sent me wonderful council.
But the pain is still there, and it won’t go away for a while.

This past two days I feel like I am "running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction".

I hate to sound so dramatic but, I feel like my life is falling apart. I would explain it on here, but then I feel like I would be revealing myself, a part of me I want to remain private. Someone hurt me last night, a hurt that was one that was very similar to those in my past. All of these feelings are flooding back; pain, hurt, anger, regret, tears.
But this time it is going to be different, God is going to carry me through this, I know he will. I know I can go to him, and He has sent me wonderful council.
But the pain is still there, and it won't go away for a while.

Emails from the B. Dad

Addi,
Guess what? I am alive and I have not been shipped off to some third world country……… And I so do miss you too! Well I better go love you bunches, Me
~
And that made my morning a little brighter.

Addi,
Guess what? I am alive and I have not been shipped off to some third world country......... And I so do miss you too! Well I better go love you bunches, Me

~

And that made my morning a little brighter.

I do realize that this picture has nothing to do with what I am about to write, but I will just have to live with that.
So many things are going through my head right now, I wish I could make them all stop and have peace for a moment. My heart hurts right now, for reasons I am having a hard time explaining. God is working in me and I can feel it, but right now the feelings I am harboring are frustrating. There are times in my life, (occurring more often as of late) that I want to be grown up. I cannot tell you how many people have told me not to wish that, to enjoy my childhood because it will go away quickly; but the thing is I am not enjoying my childhood. I am ready to grow up and start a life of my own.
My greatest want in life is to be married and have children, and I know God will grant me that in time because it is the desire of my heart, but the waiting part is getting to me. As much as I want to be grown up I know that I am not yet ready. I am not both emotionally ready nor am I mature enough. I still have some growing up to do, things to learn and experience.
I know that before I ever get married I need to learn to go to God first when I am feeling upset, scared, lonely, happy, angry, ect. I am learning that, but it takes time.
I wish I could jump ahead five years, away from all the immature drama that floods my life.
I wish I could just fast forward through this period and get to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Lord, please grant me patience, please.

I do realize that this picture has nothing to do with what I am about to write, but I will just have to live with that.Publish Post
So many things are going through my head right now, I wish I could make them all stop and have peace for a moment. My heart hurts right now, for reasons I am having a hard time explaining. God is working in me and I can feel it, but right now the feelings I am harboring are frustrating. There are times in my life, (occurring more often as of late) that I want to be grown up. I cannot tell you how many people have told me not to wish that, to enjoy my childhood because it will go away quickly; but the thing is I am not enjoying my childhood. I am ready to grow up and start a life of my own.
My greatest want in life is to be married and have children, and I know God will grant me that in time because it is the desire of my heart, but the waiting part is getting to me. As much as I want to be grown up I know that I am not yet ready. I am not both emotionally ready nor am I mature enough. I still have some growing up to do, things to learn and experience.
I know that before I ever get married I need to learn to go to God first when I am feeling upset, scared, lonely, happy, angry, ect. I am learning that, but it takes time.
I wish I could jump ahead five years, away from all the immature drama that floods my life.
I wish I could just fast forward through this period and get to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Lord, please grant me patience, please.