Peace

As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.

Isaiah 55:10-12

Lately I've been scared. I haven't been in control of much in my life these days and I've hated it. I was not ever mad at God because of my heart thing, but spending time with God was something I did have control of; so I stopped spending time with Him. I was upset because I did not see Scotland in my future, but now I realize it wasn't God who was pulling my heart away from Scotland, it was me. I was scared, I had every reason to be. Money was not coming in. A few of the people closest in my life who have supported me growing up did not respond at all, and one sent a check for ten dollars; needless to say, it was defeating. I was scared because I will be flying on planes internationally by myself, I would be living in a foreign country for two months by myself. I let myself listen to the lies of the deceiver.

But as Winter is turning into Spring my heart was slowly being warmed and whispered to. I started to realize the pettiness of my actions. Money from people I never expected came in, and $1,500 has been raised. After a few months of not being in the Word I sat down a read and listened. "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace", these words spoke to my heart. Yes I may be scared, but I will go out in peace; a peace that overrides the fear, and a joy that is lasting, even when times are hard.