I won't lie, today was pretty much awful. Doing the right thing can truly stink. This problem has been an ongoing problem, that has lasted many months. Now, I truly believe that it is over, and a wave of relief has swept over me. A so called friend told me that I was a liar, a rumor spreader, and a horrible friend. She told me that she did not want to be my friend anymore because I looked down on her lifestyle. Although she said these hurtful, mean, untrue things; I couldn't have been happier. I did the right thing, the thing that God wanted me to do, and that is all that matters.
Yet again, one more slash on the loss of friends scorecard. But it is all okay, because He taught me something very amazing, something I needed to learn. I have been putting too much trust in my friendships, and not in God. Nothing here is truly worth living for. That has been the subject of my writing over the past while. I can't fix everything, and believe it or not, God can manage to handle my problems without my help. That was a big shocker for me.
I have started to read 'Returning to Holiness' by Gregory R. Fizzell. It has made for an awesome book. Over the past months I have been beginning to see that our country is full of sleeping churches. I truly think that God would truly bless our country in ways we could never imagine, if we just truly repented and became clean. He has become distant because of our sin, there is nothing wrong with him, its us.
"Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear.
But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear."
But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear."
Isaiah 59:1-2
He is going to use me in ways I don't know, but I know he will. I am thankful for the chance to spread his name to the world, to proclaim his good news. It breaks my heart to think of so many people in this world, that have not experienced the grace, mercy, and love that I have from my Lord. How selfish of me to sit around and do nothing, when God did the greatest thing you could do, He gave His son to die for me. To pay the price for my sins, so that I may live. The least I can do is follow His will, and tell of His love.
I long for the passion that the believers in Acts had.
"The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ."
This passage of scripture is hard for me to wrap my mind around. They had such passion, and love for the Lord, that they weren't afraid to face persecution. It says that they came out rejoicing. I will be honest enough to say that I don't think at this point in my life that I could do that. I long for that passion. Just by reading you can tell that they were consumed with the Holy Spirit, they were on fire.
Yes, this has been a post of many subjects of various and sundry things and I apologize. It is late, but I am thoughtful. This has been the subjects on my mind, the thoughts of my heart.
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