If....

At the beginning of this summer I made a list of summer goals. One of the goals was to find out who God was and what He meant to me. As the summer progressed I was taken through a whirlwind of emotions, trials, and pain. Without any doubt this has been one of the hardest summers of my life, but, it has been one of the most beautiful ones as well.
God stripped me of everything that I thought I was and rebuilt me from the inside out. I lost all formality with God and things got intense and raw. My prayers and conversations with God weren't made of the beautiful hymns of David. They were more along the lines of the wrestling match between Jacob and God. I was mad at God. I was hurt, scared, angry, and I let Him know it. I yelled, cried, laughed, and then yelled some more.
If it were any other God I would have been struck down for the things I said, cursed and barren for the rest of my life, or, all three.
But you see, that is the thing. It was MY God. He listened when I yelled, loved me when I ran away, and laughed when I tried to take control.
He didn't walk away when I yelled, He told me to keep talking. He wanted to know how I was feeling. Why? Because He is a God of wonder, unending love, and peace.
God is the one who wants to be there for me when I am down. He is my comforter, my shelter, my healer, my confidant, my love, my solace, and my listening ear. This past summer my tears were His tears, my pain was His. Although none of this took Him by surprise, He still held me when I was feeling the disappointment and anger.
His mercy and grace never cease to amaze me.
I learned who He is without ever really looking. It all just fell in my lap.
I am so special to Him. If it were any other god from any other religion, I wouldn't have this peace and comfort. Many people know about the things that happened this summer, the pain I went through. But, only He and I know about the thoughts and emotions that went on in my heart. I gained an intimate relationship with Him.
Yes, things are still rough, but He showed me how strong I can be, and that He is forever faithful, and will never leave my side.