Oh man, where do I start? God is showing me so much that my selfish heart can barely breathe. I suppose I will start with the story of Jacob in Genesis 28. After Jacob woke from his dream he states: "Surely the Lord was in this place and I was not aware of it." Flash forward to Psalms, David writes that he cannot flee from God's presence. The presence of the Lord is everywhere.
Anywhere the Lord is present is holy. Read that again. Everywhere He is, is holy. That includes when I'm in the shower singing Hannah Montana unashamedly, when I'm in bed at night dreaming about a sweet boy, even when I am with my family laughing at the dinner table. God is there. He takes delight in his creation. He loves all things holy. God told Moses to take off his sandals, for He was standing on holy ground. How many times had Moses stood on that ground before? How many times had he missed God's holiness?? It's everywhere, all you have to do is look.
You don't have to experience holiness strictly at church, you can claim it anywhere. Holiness can be found in those simple moments that take your breath away. It can be found around a table of your best friends. It can be found in the smile of a child. I'm slowly starting to see God's beautiful creation in a whole new light. It's like blinders have been lifted and I can see clearly for the first time.
Sunday afternoon I experienced holiness that I will never forget. The OBHG campus gathered together to celebrate the 100th birthday of a woman that is a donor, lover, and friend to our campus for many years. Her love for the girls is immeasureable and takes my breath away. In honor of her commitment, our "Speechless" sign language group preformed "How Great Thou Art". Due to some heath problems, this sweet woman's memory has significantly failed her. But as the music began to play, she started to sing. Every word she knew by heart. With tears running down her face, she sang with love.
As I sat there and watched I began to cry. The love that this woman has for God is amazing. God's blessings were displayed and His glory was shown. Looking around the room I saw others with tears in their eyes. There was nothing but holiness in that moment. It was beautiful.
Now I crave for my eyes to be opened to new and old exeriences of holiness. I want to be aware of the beauty that God has given us in life. I want to praise Him for being holy.

Smooth talking, so rocking

Woahhhhhhhhh I am so tired.
Walmart pretty much owns my soul now, and it feels like I have been there for years rather than a week. It is probably the hardest job I have had and it stinks. Bad. My dad keeps giving me this speech about how he wasn't hard enough on me when I was little. And I'm all, whatever dad. Regardless, I come home sore, with cut and bruised fingers, arms, and toes. I've come to realize that as much Walmart tries to make you think you are cherished, you are pretty much employee #3,500 and not a name. But don't fret, they try and make up for it with employee cheers that we do every evening. We also do group stretches that make me feel more and more like Winston Smith in 1984.

In between sleeping, eating, and Walmart, I am trying to study for the OGET. I'm so nervous because I do not test well at all. I'm hoping to go pick up my grandma shortly after that. I spoke with her on the phone today and she sounded happier than she has in a long time. I colored my hair black last week.....my mom says I look gothic. I told her I hate the world and write dark poetry in my room so it will work. She didn't appreiciate my humor. :) I love the color though, and am going to keep it for a while. Apparently it makes me "look really tall" too. Go figure. :)
I haven't been able to spend time with God like I used to. It makes me sad because I miss it. Hopefully since my hours will be less I can get back in a routine of spending time with Him.

And because I think you read this: I'm moving on because you are either not interested or not ready. It breaks my heart to do so but I think it is best for me and for you. Maybe/hopefully our paths will intersect someday soon.

~

I just re-read this post and realized how much of this is stream of consciousness and random. I'm sorry, but I'm tired and have to be at work in 14 hours, so deal.

So I am still tossing this around in my head, but I thought it might bring some clarity if I wrote about it here. My blog is a safe place for my thoughts....


.....I'm thinking about getting a tattoo.

Yes, I know they look weird when you are old.
Yes, I know my mother would be not pleased.
Yes, I know the dangers.
Yes, I know they hurt.

But, I think I really want one.

It wouldn't be some place where it could be seen everyday. It would be for me. I'm a little worried about the pain, but then I think, hello, I freaking had heart surgery while awake. So I think I could handle the pain. Right? ;)

I would get a quote from Shakespeare's The Tempest. It is by far my favorite play. This past semester I fell in love with the words of Shakespeare. So if I ever got a tattoo, I would want it to reflect my love of literature, which is a huge part of my life.
Option 1: "When I waked, I cried to dream again"

Option 2: "Be not afeard; the isle is full of noises, Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not."

I know that I have many lurkers, but no commenters. But today, I am asking for your advice. What do you think?

If you posted pics 3x a week of yourself getting wasted, posted your "which twilight character are you?" quiz results every other day, and/or spoke in all spanish on your status, you just got yourself deleted from friend status on my facebook. I mean really, who speaks enough spanish to understand what the crap you are trying to say??

I know, its sad.

Confession: A little part of me wishes I could be a Scene girl. I am fascinated with their hair.

Call me on that in person and I will deny it till the day I die.

p.s. Melissa, I have a feeling you will be the only person that understands this desire.
p.s.s. Thank God only 5 or so people from school read this. Ha.