Love so amazing.

I've been staring at a computer screen for far too long tonight, but I want to get this out for fear I might forget it.
This morning was beautiful. I have 3 chapels left to attend, and I almost did not go this morning because I needed to get some things done. But I am so glad that I did.
But let me back up. This week is going to be pure hell. If I make it through the end of this week sucessfully, I will be amazed. I have so many projects that need to be done, and little busy work that professor's think is absolutely necessary. Some other personal things have come up this past week and weekend that have been on my heart and mind. There have been many things running through my head and I did not realize how much I needed peace.
This morning there was a student led chapel. Usually I HATE student led chapel, so I begrudgingly went.
But today was different. Today was beautiful. Chapel consisted of quiet worship and prayer inbetween. For those of you that know me know that I am not a fan of praise and worship. But this morning I sang quietly, and I sang from my heart.

What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

It was then I realized. I can only be whole through the blood of my Savior. No earthly love, no test grade, no good deed, no boy can ever give me the wholeness like the love of my Savior. So I sang. I sang as a young woman being filled with the peace of Christ. I felt as if my soul was singing, crying out to be with Him. Whispers of hope, understanding, and promises for the future were sang to my heart. Every new song that came was another layer of my heart's song. I left feeling refreshed and ready to face this insane week ahead of week.

So this week doesn't seem so bad.

LOVE.

Top Ten.

TEN THINGS I WISH I COULD SAY TO 10 DIFFERENT PEOPLE RIGHT NOW:

1. You are amazing to live with, I'm so glad I have you in my life.
2. It makes me sad that we are headed down this road, and I'm not really sure what to do about it.
3. I hate that I can't trust you because of your constant lies.
4. You are one of the most spineless, mean people I know. I wished you realized how horrible of a person you are.
   
5. I love you with all my heart, but you are acting kind of psyco these days.
6. Thank you for everything you have given me in life. I don't deserve it.
7. You are a beautiful person inside and out. I wish I caught your eye more often.
8. I love that you are seeing that he is no good for you. You are beautiful and lovely and derserve so much better.
9. Basically, you just suck.
10. The 90s called, they want their clothes back.
    

NINE THINGS PEOPLE MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME:

1. When I'm bored I look at wedding dresses online.
2. I wave at truckers on the highway.
3. I hate taking showers, but when I take one I never want to get out.
4. I still wish I could be an astronaut.
5. I have bad reflexes.
6. I am not a morning person.
7. I love to garden.
8. I hate feet.
9. I love to sleep.
   

EIGHT WAYS TO WIN MY HEART:

1. Wear a sweater vest and I'm yours.
2. Have an extensive knowledge of literature.
3. Be able to cook.
4. Write hand written letters.
5. Play with my brother if he asks you to.
6. Ask me to go on a long walk.
7. Buy my flowers for no reason at all.
8. Enjoy the company of my family.

SEVEN THINGS THAT CROSS MY MIND A LOT:

1. My family.
2. The future.
3. My heart.
4. Plans for this summer.
5. When I can take a nap.
6. Sonic Happy Hour
7. If I have taken my medicine.
   

SIX YOU WISH YOU NEVER DID:

1. Asked to try it.
2. Went to college far from home.
3. Got fat.
4. Slacked off.
5. Kept quiet.
6. Fell for you.
   

FIVE THINGS TURN ONS:

1. Intelligence
2. Smile
3. Integrity
4. Eyes
5. Voice
   

FOUR OF YOUR BIGGEST FEARS:

1. Being alone the rest of my life.
2. Birds.
3. Deep water.
4. Snakes.
   

THREE SONGS TO DESCRIBE MY LIFE:

1. "Somewhere in the Middle" Casting Crowns
2. "The Way I Am" Ingrid Michaelson
3. "Matthew" John Denver
   

TWO THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:

1. Be married and have kids.
2. Live in a foriegn country.
   

ONE CONFESSION:
1. When I was little I wanted to marry Michael W. Smith.

Here and there

It has been forever since I have blogged something of substance.  I miss you blog. 

It is crazy to think that school is almost over. In four weeks I will officially be a senior. A senior? When did this happen? It only seems like yesterday I was a obnoxious and frivolous girl sitting in Cross Cultural Ministry with Melissa at my side. Even though I am going to be a fifth-year, I am still beginning the process of making plans for after graduation.

Things I want to accomplish within the next ten years:
-Teach overseas
-Obtain my PhD in Shakespearean literature or American Fiction
-Become a mom.
-Live in a foriegn country
-Fall madly in love
-Be in the center of God's will
-Own a cat

~
Today was a long but glorious day. I made it through the entire day with only two hours of sleep. I am pretty sure that is the least amount of sleep I have ever had. I'm still pretty dizzy today from starting back on my heart medicine, but it is remaining tolerable, which is good. Oh, and I came to the conclusion that I have a two-cup limit of coffee before it gives me chest pain.

I've got a pretty mad two weeks ahead of me, then it is smooth sailing until finals. I'm already beginning to compile my summer reading list. When I've made some progress I'll post it on here.

Here's to hoping I will have a better summer than last year. :)

Tell Me Who's Watchin.

Happy Birthday

Holy cow! Out of pure business I forgot that my blog celebrated its seventh birthday this past March. Although I don't have posts from way back when, I still am so glad I have this blog after all these years. Blog, I love you and am so glad you have stayed with me. I also apologize for all the brain numbing pettiness I wrote about when I was 14.

Today, a beautiful and dear friend blogged about love and forgiveness today. They were words that spoke directly to my soul. Lately I have been feeling convicted about forgiveness, but I am having a hard time getting there. Melissa blogged about this exact thing:

"This weekend and Easter has me thinking a lot about love... how love and forgiveness go hand in hand. You can't have one, truly, without the other.
Forgiveness, I believe, is the epitome, the pinnacle, of love.


Forgiveness is saying, "I choose to love you, despite the hurt. I choose to restore our relationship. I choose to be in communion with you. To do that, I am willing to love you in the pain, because it is more important for me to be with you than without you."

I need to learn to love through the pain. I know I haven't been able to come to this point because of my pride. I need to choose to love her, even though she hurt me. I need to choose to love her because God still loves her. To be quite honest, I'm scared about restoring this friendship. I am scared to let her get close once again. I've loved her for four years, I know I can love her again. I am choosing to love her despite the pain.

Gardening

Meriah and I had potting duty. We planted Oregano, Thyme, and Peppermint.
Tonight we are going to the FFA Rodeo.
P.S. I am a rock star at rototilling. 

Home in 2011?

also, I have a tumblr blog now. I'm going to give it a try. Mostly it will be a collection of quotes, pictures, and songs that inspire me. Check it.

mylovelygenesis.tumblr.com

I am in a bit of a pickle.

I love my blog. But, I don't have a lot of time to keep up my blog. For the past few months I have discovered the ease and simplicity of microblogging. I enjoy using twitter and have played around with tumblr. I wish there was a way I could combine tumblr and blogger into one.