Ready? Go

Oh wow. Another Thanksgiving here and gone. I've been so future minded lately that I am having trouble staying in the present. Today was so wonderful though, I have much to be thankful for.

I'm thankful for:

• my wise and amazing parents who love me unconditionally and are always there for me.
• my sweet brother with his crazy curls and love for video games. 
• my lovely roommates and our Tuesday and Wednesday nights when we watch SYTYCD and Glee. 
• my OCBF who has taught me so much about life and God by just living out what she believes. 
• the gift of music. 
• the fact that I didn't give up on playing the piano, even when it gets hard and I want to give up and cry. 
  
• F. Scott Fitzgerald and his lovely way of presenting the world through words.
  
• that one boy because what happened with him I learned that I can trust God when things make no sense. 
• my education at OBU and all the professor's there. Through them I have learned so much about life, God, and the past. 
• my sweet nephew whose smile and laughter is the highlight of my day.
• the fact that I am a girl and can wear pretty dresses and bows. 
• the freedom I have to read, learn, talk, and write about God any time I choose. 
• to beautiful girls named Carleigh and Brandy who make me double over in laughter almost every day. 
• boys who wear sweater vests. 
• my amazing birthmother who chose life for me.....and texts me while she's watching New Moon.
• my lovely sister/friend Amanda who understands my silly girl desires and listens to me whine.
• the fact that I am able to read and go on adventures anytime I choose. 
• the fact that my future is limitless and I am not bound to any set thing. 
  

Like I said, I have much to be thankful for.

17 will still get you 20.

Today on the way home from a godawful field trip I was riding shotgun with a woman who has begun to inspire me more and more. She is 31, fresh from a terrible divorce, and coming back to college to change her circumstances. Her strength and confidence astounds me. We were riding home in a van full of snotty education majors and laughing so hard we would wheeze, then laugh some more because we were both sick and sounded like chain smokers. Everyone in the van looked at us like we were crazy for laughing so hard, I get those looks a lot. I leaned over and mentioned that everyone was looking at us because we were laughing so hard. She quickly replied, "Who cares? I don't laugh for them, I laugh for me." I looked over at her and cocked my head to the side in wonder and amazement because what she said was what my insides have been telling me for a long time.
Since when have I begun to be so insecure about myself? Why is it that I nervously bite my bottom lip in situations that I am not completely comfortable in? I suppose lately it is because I have solely focused on my academic ambitions and therefore based my self-worth on how well written my Fitzgerald paper was. In class I become Addison the English major whose likability is all based on my wittiness and ability to write good fiction. I like that girl, but my self-worth should never be based on who she is. She fails, a lot. And at the end of the night she often compares herself to other wishing she could be better at this one thing rather than being happy for the things she is good at now.

A friend, after reading several of my short stories, mentioned that my writing style is similar to Meg Cabot.

I haven't decided if I should be flattered or not.

This fever is killing me. It rises and breaks twice an evening and I sweat constantly. A body temperature of 102 has been my constant companion at night.

I've decided to buy my hunting license. I'm not a huge fan of deer because of their shifty, deceitful eyes, so I figure if I shoot one then the ecosystem of the forest will not be at stake.


The End.