Where, Where, Where

Why is it so hard to let God have control of our lives?

I am sitting on my bed, alone, and full of doubt and unrest.

I have no idea what I am doing with me life.

I so desperately want to do what pleases God. But the thing is, I have no idea what He wants. What if He wants something scary, hard, or demanding? What if they don't line up with what I want?

My desires need to be His desires. My selfishness needs to be stripped away, and that scares the heck out of me.
He knows the desires of my heart; a wife, and a mommy. And I know without a doubt that He has those in the plan for my future.

But until then where does He want me?