Smooth talking, so rocking

Woahhhhhhhhh I am so tired.
Walmart pretty much owns my soul now, and it feels like I have been there for years rather than a week. It is probably the hardest job I have had and it stinks. Bad. My dad keeps giving me this speech about how he wasn't hard enough on me when I was little. And I'm all, whatever dad. Regardless, I come home sore, with cut and bruised fingers, arms, and toes. I've come to realize that as much Walmart tries to make you think you are cherished, you are pretty much employee #3,500 and not a name. But don't fret, they try and make up for it with employee cheers that we do every evening. We also do group stretches that make me feel more and more like Winston Smith in 1984.

In between sleeping, eating, and Walmart, I am trying to study for the OGET. I'm so nervous because I do not test well at all. I'm hoping to go pick up my grandma shortly after that. I spoke with her on the phone today and she sounded happier than she has in a long time. I colored my hair black last week.....my mom says I look gothic. I told her I hate the world and write dark poetry in my room so it will work. She didn't appreiciate my humor. :) I love the color though, and am going to keep it for a while. Apparently it makes me "look really tall" too. Go figure. :)
I haven't been able to spend time with God like I used to. It makes me sad because I miss it. Hopefully since my hours will be less I can get back in a routine of spending time with Him.

And because I think you read this: I'm moving on because you are either not interested or not ready. It breaks my heart to do so but I think it is best for me and for you. Maybe/hopefully our paths will intersect someday soon.

~

I just re-read this post and realized how much of this is stream of consciousness and random. I'm sorry, but I'm tired and have to be at work in 14 hours, so deal.

Love so amazing.

I've been staring at a computer screen for far too long tonight, but I want to get this out for fear I might forget it.
This morning was beautiful. I have 3 chapels left to attend, and I almost did not go this morning because I needed to get some things done. But I am so glad that I did.
But let me back up. This week is going to be pure hell. If I make it through the end of this week sucessfully, I will be amazed. I have so many projects that need to be done, and little busy work that professor's think is absolutely necessary. Some other personal things have come up this past week and weekend that have been on my heart and mind. There have been many things running through my head and I did not realize how much I needed peace.
This morning there was a student led chapel. Usually I HATE student led chapel, so I begrudgingly went.
But today was different. Today was beautiful. Chapel consisted of quiet worship and prayer inbetween. For those of you that know me know that I am not a fan of praise and worship. But this morning I sang quietly, and I sang from my heart.

What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

It was then I realized. I can only be whole through the blood of my Savior. No earthly love, no test grade, no good deed, no boy can ever give me the wholeness like the love of my Savior. So I sang. I sang as a young woman being filled with the peace of Christ. I felt as if my soul was singing, crying out to be with Him. Whispers of hope, understanding, and promises for the future were sang to my heart. Every new song that came was another layer of my heart's song. I left feeling refreshed and ready to face this insane week ahead of week.

So this week doesn't seem so bad.

Lord,

Please teach me the patience of love.

Love,
Me

Life.

p.s. why are the "read more" buttons showing up at the end of my posts?? wth??

p.s.s. a little over 24 hours till the boy comes over for dinner. :)

And stay by my side, 'Til morning is nigh...

I have SO many things to do this week it is not even funny. I keep telling myself that I only have a week and a half more. I can make it.
The whole room situation has worked out. I'm so thankful. Three girls are moving in with me next semester, and I get to stay where I am.
This past weekend at home was amazing on so many levels. It was one of my better weekends at home. Sunday night at church God and I had a huge heart to heart and I got back on track with Him. It was also one of the best worship experiences I've had in a long time. I had to ask forgiveness from a lot of people and they were more than happy to do so. After it was all over I was filled with peace, something I haven't felt in a long time.