My Lovely Genesis

Are you okay? Are you okay?

I keep hearing that question today.

No, I'm not okay. I am far from okay.

But I will be okay.

Today made the list of one of the most heartbreaking days of my life. My heart hurts so bad that I don't see how it keeps beating. Again, this is a reaffirmation that I should court instead of date. I don't want to ever experience pain like this ever again. I could have sworn he liked me. Maybe he did, but wasn't ready. Maybe he just saw me as a kid. I guess I will never know.

Part of me wishes he would have been a jerk about the whole thing, that way I know I would be able to move on faster. But he wasn't, he was so respectful and kind. I'm not angry at him, I actually respect him even more.
I spent most of the day in tears, praying, and asking God why. Why? Why did we ever meet? I don't know why, I may never know, but I know God has a plan. God is a beautiful and loving Savior, who knows my pain, and loves me and cares for me. I still love my God, so so so much.
I know the promises God has spoken to me. I am trusting him and continue to love him even when it hurts. His timing is perfect, his ways are much greater than mine.

I don't regret ever meeting him. He is in my life for a reason.

Its okay to hurt.

Because I won't feel this way forever.

God and time will make things better.

And then, I will be okay.