So I've discovered I like polka dots...

Good morning world, or should I say good evening?

It's been a while since I've been around here. I've been busy with summer school, family stuff, and just being blissfully lazy. Its been quite nice. My birthday dress finally came in. That first day I treated it like it was my newborn child, trying it on for anyone and everyone who would pay attention. It is lovely and pink, and I couldn't be happier. I need to take it to get dry cleaned but I am afraid that the cleaners will have this freak accident and my dress will be lost/burnt/incinerated/kidnapped by a jealous fat girl/abducted by aliens and I will never see it again.
Friday we leave for our swanky family vacay. No, not really. We are actually going to my grandparent's 100th anniversary (or something like that), and then onto St. Louis to visit family there. I am looking forward to going to St. Louis, but if I had a choice I would forgo the family gathering at my grandparents. It will truly be a test and a trial to smile and act like I don't know I'm the black sheep and to love all the bitterness that makes up my mother's side of the family. Well, that and to not look at all my snotty cousins and yell "HAHA SUCKERS!!! I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO HASN'T DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE!!!! WHOSE THE BLACK SHEEP NOW???" I'm pretty sure that would not be the Christlike attitude that is necessary in life. Oh gahhh, I just realized my crazy uncle who thinks he is a Native American will be there. I'm not sure if I can handle any more magic karma stones from "Chief Full of Bull". I'm sorry, I realize that this post sounds really hateful, but if you only knew my family then you would give me a hug and buy me a year supply of therapy.

Friends have been coming and going. I've gotten involved with my Sunday School class again at church. The boy is always there, making me swoon and become frustrated all in one. Half the time I find myself irritated and grumpy with him, then he does something that reminds me why I like him in the first place. We can never have a normal conversation without some kind of code/banter and it wears me out. Constantly we play a hot/cold game where he teases me like a little kid in elementary school. I get angry, and then he smiles, and the world stops. (Sorry for the lameness, its late.)
Other things have been keeping me occupied as well. God and I are "cleaning house" so to speak. It has been a tough process, but a much needed one. Every time I sit down to talk to God I feel like I am seeing what a terrible person I am, rather than feeling changed and encouraged. It is frustrating, to say the least, but I am not losing heart. Rather, it has been pushing me forward and I am craving more time with Him. Now, if I could just learn to think and filter before I speak, my life would be grand. My mouth is my greatest weakness and my worst enemy.

I've been clinging to the verse in Proverbs: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." I'm trusting God with my decisions in life. He is truly the only one that makes sense in this crazy life. His wisdom is astounding, so who am I to try and think I can figure life out? It is so hard sometimes to not lean on my own understanding. But when I trust Him and seek His wisdom everything becomes a little clearer and peaceful.

So with that, I bid you goodnight.